Saturday, July 2, 2016

Another Turning Point at The Fork Stuck in The Road

*Please Note*

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed herein by the the author are the author's own and do not reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Sioux Falls Storm or the Indoor Football League, nor do they reflect official policies of the Sioux Falls Storm or the Indoor Football League.

NOW, READ THAT AGAIN
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There’s a scene in the movie Titanic where the orchestra meets on the deck of the ship and the lone violin player begins playing “Nearer My God to Thee”.  The IFL, if we as their consumers are honest with ourselves is indeed a sinking ship.  The Tri-Cities Fever announced they’re “going dormant” aka folding like a cheap tent under the load of a beer fart.  I mean, I've spouted off in this blog for YEARS saying they were going to, or should have folded.  They had to be hemorrhaging cash for YEARS due to what had to be an astronomic travel budget.  But it finally happened.  I’m actually kind of surprised the IFL didn’t elect Teri Carr to the Hall-Of-Fame just to have her fold her team a week later.  It’s not like the league hasn’t ever done something similar.  *COUGH*

Speaking of the Hall Of Fame.. finally, and I mean FINALLY they elected a defensive player.  It’s about damn time.  Mark Blackburn got elected, and while he only played 2 seasons of IFL ball, his contributions to the sport, and specifically to the Sioux Falls Storm cannot be overstated.  Every hyperbole imaginable is true about the energy and skillset which he played the game.  Should Sioux Falls host the United Bowl.. the audio crew has best dust off “Here I Go” by Mystical.

Moving on. So yeah, back on track here.  Tri-Cities is out.  Spokane is drawing half, to a third of what it used to in the AFL.  It’s numbers like those and travel budgets like what awaits them should they return in 2017 that make staying in the IFL, and staying in business at all a rather asinine decision.  Colorado is for sale, and it’s a foolish investment in an election year, let's be honest.  Attendance looks like the lowest it’s ever been in Cedar Rapids and Des Moines. I feel the future of these two franchises are tied together.  They’re geographically compatible with the CIF, and have developed a bit of a rivalry, plus they share some of the same fans, which is nice.   Attendance is, allegedly, “good” in Des Moines, but the numbers I get shown don’t line up with the video I’ve watched.. So… maybe this is 2005 again af far as lying to us by giving us “attendance” figured that in reality are the number of tickets, sold, given away, and dumped in the trash bin outside B&B grocery.

Attendance in Billings has been abysmal this season, same for the butts in seats I’ve seen in Wichita Falls, they’re in the same boat.  If Vegas had betting lines on such things, the odds of these two teams returning to the IFL are long.. Real long.

That puts Spokane way, WAY out on the old Tri-Cities island, like I mentioned. Their future may hinge on the IFL’s ability or inability to land a team in the soon to be vacant AFL wasteland of Portland.  Much like anything in indoor football, don’t hold your breath.  The “FANChise” in Salt Lake City is also in a geographic no man's land should Billings and Colorado fold.  The biographies of these businessmen tell me they know a sinking ship when they see one, and will probably gracefully exit.  What am I talking about, this is indoor football, there is no such thing as graceful.  They’ll just turn off the lights and walk away, after cashing the “check” for their crowdfunded gimmicky fan control system, to be sure. #Profit

So, the next stop in my doom and gloom world tour takes us to Nebraska.  Losing Jameel Sewell to the CFL, and later injury, doomed their season early and the fans disappeared.  I’d like to believe the Bosselman’s want their club to compete at the highest level, but having a team 2 hours down the road in Omaha and 3.5 to Sioux City would certainly be appealing.  It makes sense, so it probably won’t happen, though.
To Recap:
Billings: Probably el foldo if they don’t get sold or find investors
Cedar Rapids: to the CIF
Colorado: Fold, have been for sale all season with no buyers interested
Green Bay: Probably go wherever Cedar Rapids and Iowa go, but an equal chance of folding.
Iowa: to the CIF
Nebraska: CIF
Salt Lake: Island Time
Spokane: Island Time…
Tri-CIties: Folded, already official
Wichita Falls: to the CIF, attendance and geographically it makes way more sense.

OH, you’ve noticed I missed a team.. This is 2016.  We no longer strive to emulate the best in the business, there’s no such thing as taking your lumps and working your way up.  Everyone should get an equal shot at the prize and everyone gets a participation ribbon and a juice box.

Again, this is just one guy talking out of his ...um... fingers… So, take nothing I say here as any indication that I actually know anything.  I see what I see, then I come here and bitch about it.  Deal with it.

Thankfully we’ve got the FREAKING PLAYOFFS to distract us from the onset of what could be the silliest silly season in 12 years coming up… here’s my take.

INTENSE CONFERENCE:
A travel weary and mentally abused Nebraska team travels to Billings for a game against a red hot, and very hungry Wolves team.  While is should be a close game, I’m thinking the Billings defense will hold down the Danger offense, while the Nebraska defense, which has been suspect all year, gives up just enough.  Wolves advance 42-28

The now battle tested and still hungry Wolves would then travel to Spokane, where the Empire are employing a new AWB (Any Warm Body) approach to the game.  In the final three weeks of the regular season they lost two of their biggest offensive weapons in Trevor Kennedy and Carl Sims for the year.  Expect a defensive struggle much like the last meaningful game they played on June 4th.  Except this time I don’t think Spokane has the offense weaponry to grind out the game winning drive, and Billings escapes 35-31

UNITED CONFERENCE:
THE best game, on paper, of the first round of the playoffs will take place in Cedar Rapids on July 9th.  The league's best defense in several categories (points, total yards, and passing yards allowed per game) faces off against easily the most prolific passer and now healthy Charles McCullum of Wichita Falls.  This game will come down to can the the two offensive tackles for Wichita Falls slow down the pass rush of Jeremiah Price and Xavie Jackson.  My heart says yes, because I want to see Sioux Falls play a new team in the United Conference championship game, but my head says no, and Cedar Rapids wins 28-24.

Cedar Rapids at Sioux Falls (take 4) for the United Conference Championship, and this year the right to host the United Bowl (CR holds the Strength Of Schedule tiebreaker over Spokane .469 to .435 as the two teams have 12-4 records and did not face each other in the regular season).   Any game is tough to win in Sioux Falls, and a playoff game is darn near impossible.  But, the Storm have had nearly a month off and facing the pass rush Cedar Rapids brings to the table isn’t a walk in the park on your first game back on the job.  I don’t know what it is, but the Titans just never seem to be able to unhook the plow on offense in Sioux Falls, so after what should be a fairly even yet stale first half, the Storm pull away 42-31

UNITED BOWL 2016 (or XII)
Billings Wolves @ Sioux Falls Storm

Billings vs Sioux Falls in the United Bowl. It turns out, this would only be the 2nd time and first in Sioux Falls as in years and leagues gone by, the teams were in the same conference.  I’m just going to leave my commentary for this one should both teams get to this point. The teams squared off once this year a whole FIVE MONTHS ago (by the time this game would arrive) and while not much has changed in Sioux Falls, coach Chris Dixon is making another hot run late in the season, and could give the Storm everything they could handle.  I have a feeling Chris, as a competitor, wants very badly to be the guy to lead a team to a playoff victory in Sioux Falls.. But can the padawan finally become mightier than the Jedi Master… guess we’ll see. Oh, and a growler of Street Fight,... you know who you are...

I’m wrong a lot though, and I don’t write this blog to be based in fact, it’s always ALWAYS been my opinion.  Some people can’t handle that, but hey whaddya know my opinion isn’t always that of some lone wolf howling out “...Tell me of that Treasure State Story..” on a bluff above the RimRock Auto Arena.  Sometimes, probably more often than some of you posers reading this like to admit.  I’m right.  Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in this blog, you need me on this blog.

Have a safe and happy 4th of July kids… Until the next time I get pissed off at the world, stay thirsty my friends.

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